The first rule of Incarnate Me is, don’t talk about Incarnate Me. The second rule of Incarnate Me is to create value, be yourself, and have fun. The third and arguably most crucial rule of Incarnate Me is, don’t be an asshole.
Rule #1: Don’t Talk About Incarnate Me
If you read this document all the way through, you’ll realize that Incarnate Me is geared towards a broad but still particular audience. It’s also in its infancy. There are little to no marketing resources allocated, but this is on purpose. We prefer to spread primarily by word of mouth. “What?” You reply, “But the first rule says…” Yes, we know. Yet, even in Chuck Palahniuk’s dystopia, the club grew in membership. Likewise, as this is a tremendous potential resource for many people, it may be prudent to exercise significant discretion to continue to make it better. We appreciate it.
Rule #2: Create Value, Be Yourself, And Have Fun
This rule speaks for itself, but I’ll offer some elaboration. This guideline doesn’t refer to only positive thinking, rainbows, good news, and unicorns. If only life was like that, but we all know it isn’t. Well, value, being derived from living, isn’t really like that either. Sadness and frustration have their merits and their place. What we’re asking to create here is meaning worth sharing and building on. An achievement, a loss, an observation, friendship, a passion, the trivial, the profound, a joke, something scary, comedy, and all the other moments and thoughts of random cherished living make up a community. There are no prerequisites, no pretension, nor expectation of depth, profundity, or usefulness. Just be you and have fun growing and communicating as it should be.
Rule #3: Don’t Be An Asshole
But what is an asshole? And how can I not be one?
The following illuminating excerpt is taken from Asher Wolfstein’s blog World Of Wunk and describes exactly what makes up an asshole, and the alternative:
The core of assholery is that in some way, spiritually, mentally, or behaviorally, the asshole is an egotist as opposed to an egoist. An egoist holds their life and fulfillment as the prime value, whereas an egotist sees their life and existence as the only possible value. An egoist recognizes others as like themselves and appreciates their virtues as they reflect his/her own. An egotist sees others as alien entities to either align with or conquer, reward or punish, and step on or serve on their perceived path to greater power, happiness, enlightenment, or salvation. An egoist pursues the retention and expansion of these values, being people and their wealth, against time’s attrition. To an egotist, everything is disposable, as nothing exists beyond their aggrandizement, and so he/she continually uses, abuses, and ultimately destroys. An egoist has no reason to skirt the benevolence of the principles of respect and esteem for themselves or others and acts accordingly. The egotist has no goodwill, only convenient facades fashioned by their loyalties, partisanship, and their flattering support of themselves. The only way an egoist remains at the peak of their actualization is by tending to and strengthening the foundation. In contrast, the egotist must tear anything in reach down so that he/she remains the tallest. The evolution of an egoist is an expansion of grace protected by an equitable rage against injustice. Egotists are like statues, never growing and continuously endeavoring towards greater rigidity lest their frail structures crumble.
Egotists are the true believers, convinced by nothing else, the willful transmitters of pernicious misinformation, the manipulators of rhetoric by insidious audience appeal, the popular oppressors, the arbitrary sneerers of societal disapproval, the enforcers of ignorance and the status quo, gluttons for the unearned, and the ransackers of virtue. They believe they deserve anything they desire by any means for merely existing. No rules apply to them, for they are special by self-appointment. Their anger, their suffering, and their perceived slights are always more important than anyone else. They must always be right, by fact or ridicule, and must always have their way, by force or scam.
Their current methods depend on the construction of echo chambers to house the refinement of their preferred dialectic instruments. These tools and weapons take many forms, all couched in misrepresenting reality and appealing to emotion. Their implementations include moving the goalposts, redefining the vernacular, calls to tradition, mob tactics, straw-manning, elevating opinion/perception/desire above fact, demagoguery, tarnishing others character over an opinion, making shit up, loud pervasive and sonorous displays of bravado, flailing stabs to find any perceived psychological weakness, spreading and justifying hate, misogyny, bigotry, supremacy, oppression, and other logical fallacies.
Not every asshole displays these qualities all at once, and the detection of a trait doesn’t mean such is total assholery. What might at first appear in isolation as assholery may prove ultimately to be the opposite. This renouncement of context is the primary social tool of assholes, so beware. People disagree and have strong feelings. Some may despise others and, when provoked, display such, and sometimes other’s actions deserve condemnation. The difference between these reasonable and often emotional disagreements and assholery is that an asshole, consciously or not, is persistently malicious and nefarious. They purposefully fan the flames, ignore contradictions, act willfully ignorant and promote such, make no corrections, have no sympathy, protect injustice, evoke abuse, and are generally (as Merriam-Webster puts it), “a stupid, annoying, and detestable person.”
What Else Isn’t Allowed?
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